The Silent Fist
by Sapphire1112
Summary: Two-parter. Set during series 21, after Nikki gets punched. He couldn't stop Nikki from getting hurt - like in Mexico - so what use is he? Consumed by guilt, Jack shuts himself off from her completely. That hug was so amazing it had to be included! I do not own the characters.
1. Chapter 1

**Jack**

She looked so freaked out, when he almost _lurched_ towards her with the power tool - and the red mist came down. When it lifted, she was on the ground – bleeding, and I realised that the bastard had punched her.

That was last night.

I can't sit at my desk, because it's opposite her, and I can't bear to look at her bruised face. I can't speak to her, because I keep remembering the sound of her yelling my name as I laid into Hawke. I wasn't particularly aware of it last night.

But I am now.

 **Nikki**

I tried to cover it with make-up – this ugly black eye, but it doesn't matter whether it's obvious or not. Jack knows it's there. I had hoped to get away with a small bruise to the nose, but it was quite a punch. The impact to my nose caused a huge black eye – which shows up vibrantly against my blond hair.

I had to make a decision. I didn't want to, but it was necessary.

I had Jack – I had him back finally, but now he's gone again. I keep trying to reach out to him, but there's nothing. Nothing at all, and I can't live like this. Jack can't live like this.

"I'll resign if it makes it easier for you." I offer quietly.

I get no response from him – in fact he doesn't even look up from his paperwork. I take his lack of reaction as agreement – or maybe he just doesn't care either way. I stand up and take my coat off the back of my chair.

"I'll go at the end of this case." I conclude, putting my coat on. "I'm owed leave anyway."

"And where exactly do you intend to go, Nikki?" Clarissa comments from her desk, as Jack gets up and leaves the room, seemingly unaffected by the conversation.

I watch him go and turn back to her. "Dunno – I'll go back to Africa, I guess. I know when I'm not wanted."

"We _do_ want you here." She protests.

"I know, Clarissa." I answer. "But Jack doesn't."

She sighs. "Stay there."

I shake my head. "Clarissa, I just want to go home."

"I've got some rope in my desk drawer, Nikki." Clarissa informs me sternly. "Do I have to tie you to your desk?"

" _No._ " I go back over to my desk and sit down obediently. "I guess I'm not going home then."

"Good girl!" She smirks. "I'll be back in a minute – you can make yourself a cup of tea while you're waiting."

"Gee, thanks!" I answer sarcastically.

 **Jack**

" _Talk_." Clarissa demands as soon as she enters the meeting room – where Thomas and I are clearing up in silence.

I look up. "There's nothing to say."

"You idiot!" she growls at me.

"Do I need to separate you two, Clarissa?" Thomas asks. "Or are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Nikki's threatening to resign." Clarissa states. "Because she believes it's what Jack wants."

"I didn't _tell_ her to leave." I reply sulkily.

"No." Clarissa agrees. "But you didn't tell her you wanted her to stay either – and that's more the point, I think, Jack. Nikki took your lack of response to mean it was what you wanted."

"She can do what she wants." I mutter stubbornly – ignoring the two sets of eyes that are glaring at me.

"It doesn't sound like this is what _she_ wants." Thomas comments bluntly.

"She's planning to go back to Africa." Clarissa informs me - to my horror. "Did you know that?"

"No."

"Well, she is." Clarissa repeats. " – and then you'll never see her again, Jack – because something tells me she's intending to book a one way ticket. Is that really what you want?"

"No!" I snap, my heart sinking.

"Then maybe you should tell her that." Thomas suggests.

"I can't."

Thomas shakes his his head at me in exasperation and turns to Clarissa. "Where is Nikki now? Has she gone home?"

"She's in her office having a cup of tea." Clarissa informs him. "I said I'd tie her tie her to her desk if she tried to leave." She adds brightly.

"You said you'd do _what?!_ " He retorts indignantly.

 **Nikki**

I sit drinking my tea miserably. I never thought I'd have to leave the Lyell – at least not until retirement. I thought I'd found my job for life and it was my home. Losing my best friend has rather taken the joy out of it though – and if I stay, I'll still have lost him. I can't see him wanting anything to do with me again – and I don't want him to be unhappy, which he will be if he has to put up with having me here against his will. I don't want to be a constant reminder of his guilt. On the other hand, , if he's _forced_ to work with me, he might come to resent me. Or worse, hate my guts. I don't think I could cope with that. It's best if I go – for him and me.

I hear Thomas and Clarissa, and hurriedly wipe my eyes. It wouldn't do for them to see how much I've been crying.

"You're still here." The latter comments. "Good."

"I wasn't aware I had a choice in the matter." I retort crossly. I'm not cross with her – I'm just fed up and I want to go home.

"Are you ok, Nikki?" Thomas asks me. He clearly knows what's happening here, so if you ask me – that question is totally redundant.

"I'm fine." I'll have to be, won't I.

Thomas sits down in Jack's chair and shakes his head at Clarissa. "I just don't understand it. I thought things were getting better, then Nikki gets punched and Jack- Usually, if she gets hurt, he's straight there, checking she's ok."

"He was." I mutter blankly. "At first."

They stare at me.

"So what happened?" Thomas questions eventually.

"I don't know. I had blood dripping out my nose. He was staring at me horrified – and then he just...shut down completely." I shrug. "There was nothing." I stand up. "Can I go now?"

Thomas nods with a sigh. "Yes, Nikki."

"Nikki, don't be upset-" Clarissa starts as I turn to leave.

"I'm not. Jack doesn't care about me – so why should I care about him?" I answer bluntly.

"Nikki!" Thomas exclaims.

"Sorry." I mutter. "Look, I know that you both want me here – and I appreciate you trying to change my mind, but I can't stay if _he_ doesn't want me here, so please don't ask me to."

"What do we do, Clarissa?" Thomas shakes his head, sighing. "I can't force her to stay – and I don't know what's going on in Jack's head, but I can't force him to talk to her either."

Clarissa smiles, patting his shoulder. "Don't worry, Thomas – _I_ have a plan."


	2. Chapter 2

**Jack**

I walk up the ramp next to Clarissa and open the doors for her. I start to make my way towards the stand – ready to ask for a table for two.

"Wait a minute, Jack." Clarissa instructs me, grabbing my arm to pull me back.

"Why? What are we-"

"Just wait." She repeats firmly.

We wait for ages and I'm just about comment that this is ridiculous, when the door opens again and in walks in Thomas – followed by Nikki. She freezes when she sees me – and stares at me like a frightened rabbit.

"I-I...I've got a headache." She eventually mutters, turning to leave.

Thomas sighs. "Nonsense, Nikki. You didn't have a headache when I picked you up."

She tries again. " _He_ doesn't want me here."

Of course, 'he' is me.

Thomas steps in front of her – between her and the door. "Clarissa and I want you here, and if you _are_ going to leave the Lyell, then at the very least _we_ deserve to get a 'goodbye' meal as a team – and you are _both_ part of that team. Now, please, don't make a scene."

 **Nikki**

I nod and move away from the door. Thomas moves towards the stand.

"Table for four, please." He says to the inquisitive man behind the stand. The man nods and walks off.

The atmosphere is uncomfortable and at this point, Jack decides to throw a spanner in the works.

"Well, _I'm_ not staying."

Of course, he's much taller and stronger then Thomas. If _Jack's_ decided to leave, there will be no stopping him – but then again, I haven't take Clarissa into account.

"Oh shush, Jack. You're not leaving - and neither is she. Now, stand still – or I'll run over your feet with my chair."

"Ouch." I hear Jack mutter under his breath as the man comes back and takes us to our table.

When we get to the table, Thomas and I go to sit down next to the wall.

"Stop." Clarissa demands.

The restaurant goes silent.

"Clarissa!" Thomas hisses at her.

She looks around and clears her throat. "Sorry, everyone." She announces brightly. "Do carry on." The noise of the restaurant resumes and she turns back to us. "I want to sit next to the wall, opposite Thomas."

"But-"

" _No scenes_ , Jack." She warns firmly – cutting him off.

"I'm not the one making scenes!" He mutters crossly. " _You_ just silenced the entire restaurant."

"Ok" I say quietly – keen to regain peace. I move the chair I was about to sit in. Clarissa moves into it's space and I take my place opposite Jack.

A waitress appears. "Can I get you some drinks?"

Clarissa orders some wine. I ask for diet coke. Thomas and Jack are driving so they both plump for orange juice.

"You could have had wine, Nikki." Thomas points out helpfully. "You're not driving."

"I don't want wine – I told you, I have a headache." I don't really – but the not wanting wine part is true enough. I just can't be bothered.

Thomas hands out the menus. "Well then, choose your poison folks."

"Poison? Folks? Seriously, Thomas?" Jack mumbles indignantly.

I want to smile at Jack when he makes remarks like that, but I don't know whether he'll smile back so instead I just add: "Yeah, that is so not you, Thomas." on the end without looking at him.

" _Well done_ you two!" Clarissa exclaims cheerfully. "You agreed on something!"

"Yeah alright!" Jack retorts, blushing shyly. I do look at him now and he rolls his eyes.

"Anyway." Jack says suddenly, looking at Clarissa. "How come you didn't invite, Max? He looked so disappointed when I picked you up."

"He didn't want to come." Clarissa answers – clearly not thinking through her answer.

"He _looked_ disappointed – but he didn't want to come?!" Jack repeats indignantly.

The waitress comes back at this point with our drinks so we don't get to find out the real reason Clarissa barred her husband from the meal. We order our food before the waitress goes away again. We opt not to have starters, but the two men have steak, Clarissa has chicken and I choose salmon.

 **Jack**

Whilst we wait for our dinner, something strange happens to me. The bruising on Nikki's face – though still visible, is much more faded than it was three days ago, which gives me less of a reason not to look at her – and I find, with her sitting opposite, my eyes keep getting drawn to hers – though she's clearly _attempting_ not to look at me too. This table is also much smaller than our desks at work and that means she's closer than I would like, considering the current state of our friendship.

Anyway, her arm is lying on the table in front of her – inches away from me, and the feeling of wanting to be close to my best friend again overwhelms me for a split second. Before I can stop it, my hand shoots out and gently grabs her arm. She looks at me, startled – but hopeful, and then her hand finds my arm. Our eyes lock momentarily, but I'm aware that our table has gone quiet and Thomas and Clarissa are watching at us.

I swallow and let go of Nikki, before looking away. "Sorry." I mumble in embarrassment. "I meant to pick up my drink and I missed." It's a feeble excuse, but no one comments on it – and then our dinner arrives.

 **Nikki**

 _'I meant to pick up my drink and I missed'_

Yeah, ok, Jack. Still it was kind of cute – even if he is being shy as a result. I still need confirmation from him, but I'm less convinced that he wants me to leave now.

 **Jack**

By the end of dinner, we've all finished our drinks, So Thomas and Clarissa opt to go and get some more. Nikki and I just sit in silence, not looking at each other – well, actually it's me that's not looking at her. I can feel her warm gaze on my face, pleading with me to look at her. I want to, but I'm too scared. I don't know exactly what I'm scared of. Eventually, Nikki gives up and says she's going to the toilet, before leaving me sat there on my own.

I kick myself. I've got to get over this – whatever it is. A fear of not being good enough to protect her, I guess. I have to get over it, otherwise she's going to leave – and as Clarissa said, If she leaves, I'll never see her again.

 **(Over at the bar)**

"So why isn't Max here?" Thomas comments to Clarissa as they wait for the drinks.

"Because..." She answers. "We needed a table for _four_ people in order for my plan to work – and Max would have made five. Fours get a rectangular table, fives tend to get a round table. We wouldn't have been able to put them opposite each other."

"Well your _plan_ hasn't worked yet anyway. They're still not talking– and we're almost on pudding!" Thomas points out with a chuckle.

"Wrong." Clarissa responds enthusiastically. "It _is_ working – just not the way _you_ expected it to work. You saw them earlier – when Jack grabbed Nikki's arm. He clearly couldn't help it – and she could see that. _Actions speak louder than words_ , Thomas."

"Hmm. Well, it's your husband I feel sorry for – left at home on his own."

"Oh, never mind." Clarissa retorts, throwing her arms up. "He'll get over it – I promised to take him out tomorrow night – just the two of us."

 **(Back at the table)**

 **Jack**

Thomas and Clarissa come back with the drinks. Thomas looks at Nikki's empty chair in concern.

"Where's Nikki?"

"Toilet." I'm anxious and fidgety waiting for her to come back. I'm nervous about the gesture I'm going to make, but I know what I have to do. It's important, because after all, I'm the one who's been pushing her away - and the _only_ one who can convince her to stay. She seems to be away for an eternity and I'm beginning to worry that she's actually sneaked out, but she finally comes back and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Are you ok?" Thomas asks as she reaches the table.

"Mm-hm. Sorry – there was a long queue." She explains apologetically.

I swallow and my heart is almost thumping right out of my chest. It's now or never.

I push out my chair and stand up, before Nikki has the chance to sit down. I move to the side of the table, so that I'm directly in front of her. She draws breath in as we stand staring at each other for a minute. Thomas and Clarissa have gone silent – actually all the tables have gone silent. We're making a scene.

Nikki's eyes are pleading with me again and it's more than I can bear. I have to do this – and I have to do it right now.

I take a deep breath and wrap my arm around her slim shoulders – pulling her against me. My other arm makes it's way around the small of her back. She's tense at first, because it's not what she expected, but very quickly she melts against me in a mutual embrace and we gently rock on the spot. It sounds strange, but I can feel her eyes shutting in contentment – though they still emit tears on to my shoulder – tears that are matched in my own eyes. My hand rubs her back soothingly – and her hands mirror mine, eventually moving right up my back and squeezing me tightly. It's a movement that makes my crying heart flutter and I bury my tearful face in her shoulder, silently sobbing. I don't know how long we stand like that for, but I don't want it to end.

All of a sudden – to our amazement, the room erupts into rapturous applause and cheering – as though I've just proposed. We break apart slightly and stare around in surprise – are they applauding us?

Apparently they are.

"Say something to them." Nikki whispers, still holding onto me.

I clear my throat and nod at them all politely. "Thank you. Thank you all." I say shyly with a little bow of the head.

Nikki giggles and squeezes my hand as we part and sit back down at the table. We turn to Clarissa and Thomas.

"Well, that was...um..." The former hesitates, seemingly lost for words. Not something that happens very often.

Thomas clears his throat. "Yes."

"Are we going to get told off for causing a scene?" I comment sheepishly. Nikki giggles.

Thomas sighs. "No."

"Because it was quite a cute scene." Clarissa adds.

"Yes, well. Anyone for pudding?" Thomas asks.

We're all pretty full up by now, but as always Clarissa has a plan.

As we sit draining our glasses for the second time, Nikki suddenly giggles again. I raise my eyebrows at her.

"You totally thought I'd sneaked out earlier, didn't you." she giggles.

"Well, you were taking a long time." I remark.

"I know." She agrees. "Sorry."

After the bill has been paid, we go outside to where there are picnic benches – whereupon Clarissa produces two flasks of coffee. Of course – her plan.

"Max and I come here quite often. There's a nice path down by the river." She announces, handing me on of the flasks. "You two can go down there and drink your coffee. We're going to drink ours here."

For a moment I think that Thomas is going to argue that he also wishes to sit by the river, but he doesn't, so Nikki and I leave arm-in-arm – happy to be reunited at long last.

 **(By the picnic benches)**

"See." Clarissa smirks at Thomas. "My plan worked _perfectly_."

"Hmm." He agrees. "But it was cutting it fine."

"Not _even_." Clarissa shrugs. "I had _further_ plans in case."

Thomas snorts indignantly. "Like what?!"

"I was going to talk them into sharing an ice cream sundae." She beams at him – obviously pleased with herself.

"Because _that_ would have really worked, if the other plan had failed up to that point." Thomas chuckles.

"Well, I wasn't going to _tell_ them they were sharing."

 **(Along by the river)**

 **Nikki**

We sit down by the river to drink our coffee, leaning against a log – and each other. I feel so happy and contented now that I've got my best friend back. He doesn't want me to leave.

"You're staying?" He whispers nervously.

"Yes, Jack. I'm staying." I agree. "I was only leaving because I thought that was what you wanted,"

He kisses the top of my head. "I'm so sorry, Nikki."

"It's ok." I reassure him."Why _did_ you push me away though?" I ask softly.

"I just felt so useless." He mutters. "First, I couldn't find you in Mexico – and then I couldn't stop that man from punching you." He looks away sadly.

"Hey." I pull his face back to look at me. "You have never been - and never will be, useless. I would have given up a lot sooner in Mexico if you hadn't been talking to me on the phone – and when I _was_ giving up – you told me I still had air. As for Hawke – it was _him_ that punched me – not you, so please try to remember that, sweetie. _It wasn't your fault_."

He nods. "Ok."

 **Jack**

Nikki smiles at me. "Good. Hey – we made a bit of a scene in there, didn't we." She giggles.

"Hmm." I agree with a chuckle.. "I did think we were going to get in trouble for that."

"You know," She sighs. "I don't know _why_ I was so surprised to see you standing there when I got to the restaurant. Now I come to think about it, I'm sure I heard Clarissa saying something about having a _plan_ as I was leaving work a few days ago!"

I chuckle again. "Hmm. Well, this does have 'Clarissa' written all over it!"


End file.
